Missing

After 21 years one might think that the grieving of a loved one would have passed by now. But that is not true. Dad has been dead going on 21 years. Most days, I don't stop and dwell or "grieve" aloud. But then there are moments that pop up and it hits....It hits hard. I think of what he is missing...what I missed...what his Grandchildren missed. He was a great man (yes he has been on a pedestal to me for 30+ years and will remain there). He had a good heart. And he had the most beautiful blue eyes this side of heaven. God saw it fit to give those blue eyes to his children and grandchildren too. Tonight I saw those eyes in my son...and although I have looked into Maxwell's eyes for six years and saw a glimmer here or there...today I saw HIM. This was a truly bittersweet moment for me. At that very moment when I looked into those Big Blue Eyes, Maxwell said "I love you". In my heart, that was Daddy. So how do you explain tears to your six year old? How do you explain spontaneous emotion? You don't try. You just say “I Love you too" and smile. I miss my father....probably more than anyone on this earth. After all, I was the poster child of a Daddy's Girl. I hung the Moon according to him. So when the moments arise, I stop. I stop and pray. I stop and pray for peace. I stop and pray for God to send me some sign that Dad is still with me. And God always answers my prayers. So tonight, if you are missing someone, stop and pray. God has a plan. God doesn't take our loved ones away from us completely. They are in our hearts always. And if we choose to stop and look around we see bits and pieces of them. I see it in Sophia's spunk. I see it in Nina's giving heart. I see it in Bryan's face. And on nights like tonight, I get the wonderful privilege of hearing it and seeing it, as Maxwell looked at me with those Big Blue Eyes and said I love you!