Blog Party

Today I'm participating in a Blog Party to celebrate a friend's blog buddy who has adopted one of God's children. I'm linking up to her blog and could even win some really cool prizes so if you're interested you should link up too by heading here: http://filledwithpraise.blogspot.com/2010/06/lets-get-this-party-started.html

All you have to do to participate is answer 5 ice-breaker questions. Here are my answers..

If you could have dinner with any person (past or present) who would it be?
Well, I have thought about this before and the face that always pops in my head first is Dad. I feel, as an adult, that I never got a chance for closure.Yet it is this experience that made me who I am today. I try to tell people daily, that I love them, as you never know when that will be the last time you see them here on earth. So, I know God has a plan, but I miss him dearly and I would love to hear him tell me "I hung the Moon" just once more. Maybe those will be the first words I hear when we meet again.


What is your most embarrassing moment that you are willing to share with the blogging world?

Embarrassing moment....well...I have many...most involve my brother embarrassing me in one way or another, but isn't that what older brothers are for? I recall once, while at the pool, he flipping me out of my float and my top coming off. He laughed...I fumed!

If you could only use one word to describe yourself, what would it be?

Grateful...I am truely grateful to God each and every single day. Grateful for the big things and the small things. Grateful for another day to watch my kids grow. Grateful to teach. Grateful for a wonderful family. Grateful for life. God is SO good to me. Even when I feel like my plate is full, I try to remember God trust me to handle everything I am given and I am grateful for the opportunity. Most of Gratitude is "atitude". “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” How can you not be grateful?

You found a machine that allows you to fast forward your life to a moment or to rewind your life to a certain moment, but it can only be used for one moment. Would you fast forward or rewind and to which moment would you choose?

Well, rewinding would change who I am NOW and fast forwarding might change how I will be in the fuure, so I think that I am one of the few, who ,given the choice, would do niether. You see I have but a small picture of God's big plan. I know if he wanted me to know more of the plan, I would see it. I have faith in that, so why would I change. Life is to short to FF>> through it and the past is just that, the PAST. If you <...be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). So I am content.

What is your favorite simple blessing in life?

I have so many simple blessings in my life! I am truly BLESSED! However, one of my favorite simple blessings is when Maxwell crawls in my bed early in the morning and sticks his COLD, yet soft feet in between my knees and throws his arm around me and we snuggle. It gives me such joy to know that he wants to "comfort me" with his arm around me and me to comfort him by warming up his feet.

Well there you go. My answers to the five questions. I thought it would be easy to answer them. However, more than anything it was REFLECTIVE! So thanks for sharing Angela. Glad I took the time to do this tonight!

We celebrate!

So over the course of the last few days we have celebrated several times, and with great excitement each time, the fact that Maxwell is 5 years old. It all began April 27 at 5 am! Yes, I said 5 am! Maxwell woke me up at 5 am to ask, "Am I 5 yet?" Well It seemed only fitting, since he was born at 5:52am that he was awake that early! I told him, NO! It was time to go back to sleep:) That worked only for a few more minutes. So we began the celebration of his birthday early. He asked if Daddy new he was 5, to which, I replied, I think so, but you can call and make sure. So he did. Hey Mommy was up, why not Daddy too! This was not such a good idea, because by 7:15 am, much of the family had been called to make sure they all knew that Maxwell was 5! He excitedly reported to each member that he could go to Kindergarten now. This led to another conversation that finally ended with " They are closed until August, so you must wait". This is the only answer that would do. But as a teacher and Mommy, I was very excited that he wanted to go to school and learn. I sure hope that he holds on to that feeling.
For dinner, since it was Tuesday, he assumed we were going to Chic-fil-a, as this is our normal for the week (Kids eat free!). But earlier, with some suggestions from Aunt Sharon, he had decided he wanted to go "see where they set things on fire at your table". Off to Kanpai. Dinner was wonderful, with a special cake from the Thompson clan for all to share. The night was complete after a dancing session at the Thompson house. The celebrations continued on Friday with a party at school and more cupcakes, and then the beg Finale on Sunday afternoon at the Children's Museum. In Lieu of gifts, our donations this year went towards Victory Junction Gang, and I am proud to say we raised almost $200. Maxwell did get more than enough gifts as well, and he enjoyed having all his friends come and play with him.
So, as he continues to grow, I want to thank each and every one of you for making his 5th birthday a true celebration of his life. You all have made his life more enriched, just by loving him.
May we each celebrate LIFE with the same enthusiasm that Maxwell has celebrated his short 5 years!

Looking Back

Tonight as I sit here typing, a lot is on my mind. 5 years ago today, I was BIG AS 2 HOUSES! I was cleaning the house ( which I never do, willingly) and stopping about every 10 minutes to rest from the heartburn. At that moment I didn't realize how precious those few moments of rest were and how few of them would come again. I don't have a labor Horror story, as many women do. I do however have a story that I see fitting to share tonight. I have never written in down anywhere, another one of those things that one never forgets, right?

My story it rather funny in the get go...Everyone in the house went to sleep, except me. This was a pattern at that time. Who can sleep with a foot in your rib, a hand in your kidney, and a head on your bladder! So I walked the house, cleaned, did dishes, and basically resolved myself that yes, I was in labor. This was only midnight, and I didn't want to wake anyone. Besides, as they say "the first one takes awhile", so there wasn't any need to rush. Well at 4:30 am, I finally woke David up, and then proceeded to get Claire up ( she was easy, she was one excited sister.) We all piled in the car ( 5 am now) and called Dianne to pick up Claire, thinking there was no need for her to miss school, " it would be a while" before the arrival, and she would probably make it back in time after school. That was the plan! And from there you know the what happens....WE PLAN....GOD LAUGHS! And that is what happened...we didn't even take the bag in, thinking David would go and get it when he called Mom, Bryan and Sharon, Etc. We wanted them there. We Planned for them the be there. We got in the room, Claire still with us, Got hooked up to the heartbeat and contraction machines and Dianne arrived. 5:30 am. I asked for drugs at this point...I WANTED DRUGS at this point,(again this was not in the "plan"), they said that they would check me to see if I was far enough along to "stay". I then begged for my doctor, which the nurse finally took as time to check, and she did, and there was the head. TOO LATE FOR DRUGS, TOO late to get the bag, and almost to late for the doctor. And at 5:52 am, without drugs, family, a camera, and almost not doctor, Maxwell arrived. 7 pounds 4 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. And the plan was out the window. I will spare you the minor details and the "rest" of the of story. But my life at that moment changed forever.

Now five years later, I look back and wonder how things would have been different had I planned differently. Would mom have made it in time if I would have called her at 5 am? Would she have even answered the phone that early? Would Bryan and Sharon have made it in time to drop off the girls at Benny and Wanda's and gotten there in time? Should we have kept Claire there? I don't know the answers, but I do know that God had a plan and it was not the same as mine, but the outcome was perfect. A beautiful gift from God.

So tomorrow morning, I will wake up and again Thank God for that precious gift he quickly gave me 5 years ago. I will hold him tight, just as I did then, and remember that just as on the day he was born, birth went so quickly and now the days go by just as fast. He is growing up. He is becoming a "big boy". And as on that day I wished things would have slowed down so that I could "cherish" it more, I continue to wish these days slow down, so that I can cherish every moment of his life and my time with him.

Happy 5th Birthday, Maxwell Arthur Weber.... I love you more and more each and every day.

Traits...

From the moment a child is born people make speculations of which parent they look like, which parent they act like, which parent they have the most in common with when that parent was a child, and the list goes on and on ( and changes depending on which side of the family you ask).

David and I have stated from the beginning when people ask who he looks like we both say "Maxwell! Who else would he look like?" He doesn't have my eyes, I have my eyes. He doesn't have David's birthmark, David has his own birthmark and it didn't transfer upon Maxwell's birth! However, Maxwell is a great blend of genetics from both David and I. He does have my eye color; he does have a birthmark in the same place as David; as a baby, at about 6 months, he looked very similar to Claire and as a toddler he did look almost identical to David at that age. Do you see the difference in our statements?

Genetics play a role in creating a new person. Not a replica of someone else. Otherwise, the world would be very boring. We want Maxwell to be his own person.We want him to not feel like a shadow of his parents. But no matter how hard you try as a parent, some of our traits ( not genetics) rub off on our children. Over the last few days, I have noticed this more and more. Maxwell imitates things that David and I do. He imitates the voices I use to read to him in within his own reading. And tonight he imitated his dad in the most amusing way.

When David and I started dating, his hair was very thick and long ( not ponytail length or anything, just long for a guy.) He would make sure every hair was in place at all times and still does to this day. And I must admit, he has great hair! So tonight after getting our of the tub, I proceed to comb Maxwell's hair as usual and Maxwell looked at me with a look of disgusted and says " Mommy, don't touch my hair! You will mess up my cool man look!" I was flabbergasted! It was one of the funniest things I had heard all day. So once I stopped laughing, I agreed, he could fix his own hair ( I pick my battles).

I write this post only to remind myself, that no matter how hard I try to make sure that Maxwell becomes his own person, he will pick up a few things from the adults ( and even children) that he is around. And I must add, I am glad that he has picked up his Dad's hair grooming trait! I am more of a brush and go kinda person. I hope he also learns to imitate his Dad's cleaning and cooking habits, as I don't enjoy, nor am I good at either! An added plus to that is that his future wife would appreciate both qualities.

Wings

Yesterday was Easter. And what a glorious Easter it was! Again, I say it is my favorite "holiday". I was able to spend Saturday evening with Maxwell for a "Mommy and Me" date. Dinner at Red Lobster and the off to see the movie "How to Train your Dragon". (It was great BTW). Then off to spend the night at David's home.

Maxwell always gets excited about this, at Easter which sometimes saddens me because he doesn't have Mommy and Daddy together all the time, but this is the hand that was dealt. That said it was a great evening. Claire was there too, so we had the opportunity to catch up a bit. Something else I miss, but again, this is the hand that was dealt. But for that one moment when Maxwell awoke and saw that his Mom, Dad, and sister where all there, he SMILED a wonderfully happy smile ( and it is only 5:45 in the morning). We all attended an emotional and moving Sunrise service and heard our Pastor say those words "The Lord is Risen". This was made even more special, since she is the first women in 238 years, to lead the service. After a delicious breakfast cooked by Aunt Peggy and her Crew, we went home to prepare ourselves ( physically) for a second service. We then shared lunch ( also joined by Dylan, Claire's boyfriend). It was a wonderful morning and afternoon, made even more special by the people we shared it with. On the way home Maxwell feel asleep.

Once he got up, we headed to Maw Maw's and Paw Paw's house. Another glorious event for the day. She was home from the hospital and Maxwell couldn't wait to see her. On the way there, Maxwell decided to verbally process this whole " Easter" thing. He started by asking if Jesus was in heaven now. "Of course" I tell him and then explain that he has been for a long time, we just celebrate the event every year. This was not sufficient for him. The questions began at warp speed!

"Well did he fly there?"..... I Explain...

"Does that mean he has wings?"...I Explain....

"Well did he wear clothes?"...I Explain...

"What about underwear"....I Explain...

"Well will I get to wear my clothes when I die?"...I Explain...

"Can you only go to heaven on Easter?" I Explain...

"Did Jesus send the Easter Bunny?" ...I Explain...

Thank God that Maw Maw and Paw Paw are only a 30 minute drive, because the questions were getting more and more complex for me to answer in 5 year old comprehension terms. We finally arrive and pull in the driveway, and stop the car. I turn off the engine and go to get out of the car but he stops me and says" Mommy, I am going to have wings like Jesus one day and fly to heaven to meet Paw Paw Larry and Paw Paw Bruce and I can't wait!"

I guess he gets it now...Easter, the flowers we put on the graves, the graves we clean, the reason for celebrating. Thanks BE TO GOD for another Glorious Resurrection!

Good Friday

Good Friday...What did you do today? What did you think about? Do you know the meaning of this day? For many, today was a beautiful day to spend outside playing, golfing, or maybe indoors shopping or Spring Cleaning. These are not bad things, mind you. I am not judging. I even stopped and ran a few errands myself this afternoon. However many forget to take the time to remember the true meaning of Good Friday.

For those of you who know me well, you know that my favorite holiday is Easter. It has been for as long as I can remember. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Savior's birth, especially as a kid. However, the feeling in my heart that I get at this time of the year is one of completeness, of rebirth of my spirit, and of anticipation of a Glorious Resurrection.

While many rush through Holy Week without recognizing it or complaining that "I go to church to much" this week, I savor it. I read the scripture from the Holy Week Readings and find comfort in it. I must confess here that often I miss days of the Daily Text and try to play catch up at times. I do lead a rushed life and should slow down more. But the Lenten Season does this for me. I want to slow down. And I do.

My Pastor asked the congregation to pick someone this week from the scripture and place ourselves in that person's position in Jerusalem during the time period of the events of Jesus' last week on Earth. We were to think about how that person felt watching the events take place. Basically "become" that person. I decided, since I was a mother, to place myself as Mary, mother of Jesus. I thought about her a lot this week. How must she have felt to watch her son be mocked, beaten, humiliated and then crucified. And to know in the last moments of his life, He still thought of her and gave her a son, one of his disciples, so that she would be cared for on Earth. The agony that she might have felt became real for me today during the Crucifixion Service. I am always saddened during this service, however today I felt it deeply. Yet as I prayed a Peace came over me. A feeling of Empty Peace. The faith she must have had in God. And at the same time the huge Emptiness she felt. So I sit here tonight with that same Emptiness. An emptiness I feel every year between the Crucifixion service and the Sunrise Service. The emptiness from knowing, that for a short period of time the Earth was void of the Savior. Yet this year, I feel it a bit differently. A bit more personal. It allowed me the opportunity to grow as a mother and cherish, even more, my time with Maxwell. Even if it is just sitting on the couch eating popcorn ( way past his bedtime).

I know on Sunday morning I will cry again. But they will be tears of joy. I will will once again Praise God for his unconditional love and Thank Jesus for his sacrifice for me and for all . I will spiritually be reborn. It is a moment I cherish each year and there is nothing, be it rain, unpleasant people, or even below freezing temperatures that can take that away from me. It is a truly GLORIOUS moment. This year, I will think of Mary. As I listen to My Pastor, A women, Speak those words "HE IS RISEN". A first for the Moravian Church. And instead of thousands shouting the words "Crucify", as they did so many years ago....Thousands will respond "HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!" And with those words, my emptiness will go and all that will remain is PEACE.

May Peace be with you also....Until He Comes

Lisa and Maxwell

Family

I haven't blogged abut the adventures around here the last few days for many reasons. One being I have been to tired. Two being I have been more focused on Maw Maw. And three, I haven't really had much to say.
Things changed today. Maw Maw has been on a ventilator in ICU at Baptist for 8 days. We have been worried, yet optimistic. Never letting go of the faith in an AMAZING GOD. I was reminded tonight after Holy Week Service that when we ask something in Jesus' name, it will be answered. So we continue to ask for Maw Maw to heal.
Maxwell and I prayed again tonight. He prayed that God would make Maw Maw feel better, as well as Aunt Peggy and Ms. Nancy. He also prayed that Aunt Leigh wouldn't feel sad. I cried tears of joy for the loving heart in him. He remembers all the things he hears and is told about the people he loves and at night when we pray, he gives them to God without prompting. He knows and reminds me when I forget, that is what we are supposed to do. You see God never fails us. No matter what happens, God does answer our prayers. Over the past few days we have prayed hard for Maw Maw to come off the ventilator, so tonight when Maxwell asked if the tube was out of Maw Maw's mouth. I could tell him yes. ( he followed this with " I don't want them to put that tube back in her"). Many of us have said this over the past week. And many of us have prayed. And though it didn't happen the first day we prayed, we continued and prayers were answered.

It is amazing to me how God's plan can become so clear to us at times. I feel like I understand God's plan more tonight. I have been thinking...probably too much. But I continue to find good in this experience. Over the past 8 days I feel like I have become even closer to my extended family. I am grateful for this opportunity. I would have liked it to have been under different circumstances, however, maybe this was God's plan. I love my family. However there are times when I feel like I don't know them as well as I should. So as I give thanks tonight for Maw Maw's healing and Jesus' death for me and for many, I also give thanks for bringing me closer to my family and for the things that I have learned this week from all of them.

Family tidbits.....

• It amazes me how different all of my mother's siblings and my mother are in many things, yet how much they are alike too
• as they age...(although all still young), I see how much they begin to look alike
• they are all beautiful and caring people, each in their own way (I think Grandmother did well in this area)
• My Aunt Roverda was Miss Dairy Princess
• the photos of Aunt Brenda and Mom as little Miss Sunbeam were great entertainment
• my cousins, Ron and Jeffery have a lot to share if you take time to listen. And I enjoyed listening.
• The Ellis gene of worrying is in all of them...and that's okay, I will keep telling them all to find the rainbows behind the dark clouds.
• I learned that Maw Maw is right...Maxwell does remind me of Jeffery. And that gives me comfort, as he has grown to be a good Christian man with a very loving wife. What more could a mother ask for?
• Uncle Tom has lots of perseverance with technology.
• Debbie has the sweetest bedside manner and a smile that melts away any worry.
• Ron and Michelle have a great sense of humor
• Paw Paw and I have a lot in common..he is a great fill in Dad. Not a replacement, but definitely a good fill in.
• Mom and Maw Maw mean the world to me and I felt so thankful when they were both in the room. How lucky I am to have them both.
• Aunt Brenda always makes me laugh...even when she doesn't mean it. She is a funny lady!
• Uncle Robbie would do anything in the world for his family...all you have to do is ask.
• Julia and Diana have a great mother/daughter relationship. They are both full of so much love.
• Sara Beth has a great game I need to learn to play:)
• Paw Paw's navy experiences are interesting to me.
• All of us really stink at the game of Charade

There are many more things I have learned...this is just a few. I say all of this here because I don't want to forget them. I began this blog so that Maxwell would have something to look back on, but maybe it is for me too.

As you take communion tomorrow, remember the reason. Remember the road that Jesus took during this time. Remember the pain and suffering and remember the love poured out for you. I may forget a lot of things that have happened this week over the course of time. But I will not forget the gifts that I have been given. The gift of a wonderful family. The gift of having Maw Maw with us for another day. The gift of a God loving child. And most of all the gift that Jesus gave me so long ago of salvation. May you all have a blessed Easter and may God continue to bless you all in the days to come.

Gone Fishing....

Sometimes we all get a bit too busy in life. We rush from one place to another doing this and that and forget to stop and enjoy what we are doing. Saturday was a great day. We rushed to get to the Easter Egg Hunt, we rushed to get everything set up, and then rushed to make sure everyone got eggs. Then afterward, we rushed to clean up so that we could all rush off to the next thing we had to do. I had to visit a friend and drop off orders from my Thirty-One sale. So during all this, I rushed past Mom's house to drop off her stuff and noticed she wasn't home.( Not unusual, she rushes around a lot, too) I then had to rush to drop off Sharon's stuff at her house, so I could rush off to Mocksville. On the way from Mom's house to Sharon's, Maxwell yells out " There is Nanny's car!". I was rushing so much, I didn't see it. But HE DID. So we pulled over to find out why Nanny was parked in the grass and found her fishing ( Again, nothing unusual.) Nanny loves to fish. All the Grandchildren love to fish with her. It is all they talk about during the Spring and Summer. She has purchased them all poles and they LOVE IT. So we stopped and began fishing with Nanny. You see, I was so rushed to get things done, I didn't even notice Nanny's car. It wasn't in my plan to look for it. But Maxwell, being the small child he is, isn't so rushed and he did notice. What does that say about me? I think it says, God wants me to slow down. You see, children don't see the "stress" that we see. They only see the physical and the now. Maxwell wanted to see Nanny. He knew she wasn't home after we stopped by her house. So he looked for her and found her. I am grateful that he did. We both stopped and enjoyed a bit of fishing. We slowed down and enjoyed the moment and made many memories. And when I left, I didn't leave as fast as I arrived. Yes, I was "later" than I planned for my next appointment. But it was worth it. I am so grateful for Maxwell's reminder of slowing down. Once again, my angel on earth is a messenger from God, sent to remind me of what I need to be doing. SO when I continue to complain about how tired I am ( for many more reasons than most), this will be a reminder to slow down. Because after all, we all need to take time to go fishing. Isn't that why God gave us worms?

The Train Driving Dentist

Maxwell went to the dentist today. His first "real" visit. We have talked about all the things they were going to do today and he was actually very excited. When we arrived, he played in the play house and with the toys while I completed paperwork. Then it was his turn! He we go....Ms. Tiffany took him back, with me following, and gave him a brand new toothbrush to start! You would have thought he won the lottery! He was soooo excited. ( I don't think most children get that excited over a toothbrush, I know I didn't as a kid). Then he got to play with more toys, while they "interviewed" me about Maxwell's eating and brushing habits. He passed, with the exception of one thing: Daddy has got to stop making him drink from a "sippy cup", even if Maxwell likes it. He is almost 5 and he probably wont spill it. So then it was time to climb up on the table. He jumped up without a problem and they gave him the "coolest" Lightning McQueen sunglasses to wear. HOG HEAVEN! They could have chopped off his arm and he would still be smiling! They did the routine check, then on to x-rays, cleaning with Orange polish paste, painting with Tutti-Fruiti flavored fluoride all while they were wearing cherry flavored gloves. Kind of like a fruit salad, if you ask me. But he loved it and SAT STILL. That is a feat within itself. He left with 2 stickers, a ball from the Treasure tower, a new toothbrush, berry flavored floss and a Buzz Lightyear Flosser. (I wont tell you what the bargain price for all of this was though.) He asked to go again tomorrow. And in case you wondered where the title came from....Maxwell really wants to be a Dentist that drives a train when he grows up....so start planning your train trips around your next teeth cleanings, because should all Train "drivers" know how to clean teeth and do a root canal while heading across the country?

God talks...I listen

Maxwell is a great kid. However, he struggles with one thing, a lot. Now I know many reasons why he struggles: 1) He does have a hearing issue 2)He is his mother's child 3) He is his father's child ( yes, I know that 2 and 3 are very unnecessary to state, however, part of his struggles are genetic and unfortunately he got a DOUBLE DOSE). So at this point, I know that many people have made guesses about what his major problem is, but for those of you who can't pick just one thing that it could be, let me just tell you....HE IS HARD HEADED and doesn't want to listen. On Sunday morning his Hard Head was a blessing and a curse.

I have battled with him for a while about climbing cabinets and thought he had finally learned that if he needed something, all he had to do was ask. However, while I was getting ready for church on Sunday, Maxwell decided that he could climb the cabinet and get his own gummy snack, while I wasn't looking. His plan did not go so well. The end result was that his HARD HEAD prevented major "damage", however, his HARD HEAD caused the damage, too. Once all was said and done, he has 2 bumps on his head and a large scrape down his arm.

We arrived to church late, (nothing new, but we are working on it) and his Sunday School class was participating in the Prayer Labyrinth. For those of you who don't know what this is, here is a quick definition:http://www.mathewsumc.org/html/growth/labyrinth.htm . So prior to going in to walk the Labyrinth, Pastor Patty talked with each child. She told Maxwell that while he was walking he could talk to God and say prayers and when he got to the center, " God's Heart" to listen and this would be a way to be closer to God. Maxwell thought a while and boldly stated, " I don't want to go Mommy, I don't want to go to heaven today. " Great connection to what we have talked about lately, however we had to re-vamp our wording and thus convince him that he was not going to Heaven. He agreed and took his first journey. He was very good, silent and respectful and once in the center he sat down and prayed ( out loud, but that is okay). He then walked the path out and once out of the room we talked. He told me he asked God to make his "boo-boos" feel better and "the one on his arm did feel better, but not the bump on his head." I told him that may take longer to feel better and he informed me that God told him it needed to hurt a little longer so he would remember not to climb the cabinets. Sounds like his Prayer walk was successful, he prayed, walked and listened to God. So I guess in the end, even if he doesn't always listen to me and other adults, I am glad that he does listen to God. After all, isn't that who we all should be listening too?

Unexpected Changes

This week started out beautiful! A warm and sunny day Monday and an even better Tuesday. Glorious enough to allow me to teach outside ALL DAY! Yes, you heard correctly, I taught math, reading, writing, social studies and science from the courtyard located just behind my " Learning cottage". I woke up Wednesday to find something different. It was cold, windy and by today it was down right yucky with the rain and fog. The weather changed so quickly! I wasn't expecting it. I even wore a skirt on Wednesday with the hopes that the weather would go back to what I had already gotten accustomed to in the 2 short days prior. At this point of my blog , you may be asking yourself, "why are you telling me this stuff, it has nothing to do with Maxwell". But as I think about my reaction to the unexpected change in weather, I also realize that this is my reaction to Maxwell growing and changing daily. Sometimes I get so accustomed to his behavior, his eating habits, his being my little man that I get caught off guard when something changes unexpectedly. So there is the connection...but there is more.
For 3 years now, I have picked Maxwell up from school, gotten in the car, talked about what he did all day on the ride home, then we eat dinner. ( sometimes I cook, sometimes I am too tired and we run through K&W Cafe or Cracker Barrel and grab something to bring home and eat.) So all of this had taken place , just as normal, (tonight was a tired night that we went to K&W Cafe) and we were preparing to eat dinner. When we arrived home, I really have to change and go to the restroom, so I told Maxwell to put his coat up and then play in his playroom for a few minutes while I changed clothes. I changed, etc in about five minutes and come out of the bedroom. As I come around the corner and head toward the kitchen, this unexpected change is right in front of my face. My 4 year old little man had set the table, completely. He had gotten the food off the counter and put it at each of our respective spots, placed the silverware on the table with napkins, our drinks were at our seats with straws already in the cup and he was sitting there waiting on me. He even had put the bag the food came in, up in our baggie bin. I was speechless. When did he learn to do this? At what point did he become old enough to do this without me? When did I miss this new intrinsic motivation to do such work? He was so proud of himself! I was proud of him, too. But in all of this, I was a bit sad. I know some of you may say, WHAT!?!?! I would love my kid to set the table without being asked, or without being beaten to do so! But you see, I have been in a routine for 3 years and know what is expected of me. I know that it is my "job" to prepare dinner and his "job" is to eat it and put his dirty dishes in the sink. I take care of the rest. But my "job" is changing unexpectedly. He is becoming more and more independent each and everyday. I did expect that, eventually. Just not today. I am again faced with the realization that things change and my little man is not so little anymore. I am so proud of him, but just like the weather, I want my little man back! Back to what I am accustomed to on a daily basis. Back to needing me the way he needed me, even just a few short weeks ago. But this is not to be. I am thankful that he is growing up. I am grateful that he is capable of doing more things on his own, and I would never let him know that I do want to spoil him a little bit longer, and it is okay to leave your clothes or toys in the floor, because I really don't mind picking them up. He needs to do these things on his own. I guess what I am saying is that I just expected him to grow on my terms and when I was ready for him to do it. But God has a plan for him, and that plan is much better than anything I could have come up with on my own. I am just glad that God's plan still includes cuddle story time at night, complete with hugs, kisses and the phrases " Mommy tuck me in" , "Will you sing Amazing Grace" and "I love you". As long as those don't change anytime soon, I think I can handle the rest of those "unexpected changes".

Chickens

Aunt Cindy has had Chickens for awhile now. Maxwell has always got a big kick out of going to see them. But this past week, she got a new "batch" of baby chicks. Maxwell has been so excited about going to see them. So after many conversations and using it as a "dangling carrot" for a few days, we finally made it to see the new chicks. He was ecstatic! He smiled and smiled and grinned and grinned. He got to hold a few of the "not so wiggly" ones and I think he even "hugged" a few of them. The Highlight of the day was when Mr. Ben let him go and collect the eggs from the nest! Now that was PURE enjoyment for him! He came out with one of the biggest grins I have ever seen to show us the eggs in his basket and proudly took them to Mr. Kenny. He was very busy today. On top of all of this, he played with Graham (formerly "Ben 3" and currently "the one that has no glasses") and Jacob (formerly "Ben 2" and currently " the one with glasses"), got muddy, let a chicken out of the pin and chased it, watched Scooby Doo and ate a little bit of everything (we are hitting a growth spurt) in Aunt Cindy's kitchen! ( I think I owe her about $50 in food). It was a very enjoyable Sunday afternoon with great company. On the way home, he told me everything he did ( as if I wasn't there to see it) and then laughed about it all. He feel asleep about 10 minutes into the ride and in the middle of the story. But he feel asleep with a smile on his face. I am sure that the chickens are just as tired as us, and with Maxwell not hovering over them, they may just fall asleep with a grin too!

Promises

Today was a difficult day. This past week has been a difficult week. And this past year has been a difficult year. I am not speaking of myself , particularly, but for many. For me today was surreal. You prepare yourself for changes and think that you are ready to handle the outcomes, but for death of a loved one you can never really prepare yourself. My dear sweet brother in law was given Eternal life last night. Taken so young, yet that was God's plan. Who am I to argue with the Lord? I am blessed to have known him. I am blessed to have had him in my life. I am blessed to continue to have a wonderfully strong and encouraging Sister in Law and a beautiful niece and handsome nephew, that brighten my day when I see their smile. God gave this to me. I am thankful. God also gave me a gift tonight and sent it through Maxwell. Maxwell is a gift everyday, but tonight he reminded me that God uses even the small children to remind us of his promises.
Tonight I was explaining to Maxwell that his Uncle Chris had passed away. That is why his Daddy was a little sad today. He asked a few questions about how, and when, and why Chris had passed away and after I had answered sufficiently enough for him, he looked at me without hesitation and said " Why is Daddy sad then, Uncle Chris is with Jesus. And Daddy can talk to him like we talk to Jesus, right?" He is right we shouldn't be sad. We should all rejoice that he is no longer in pain and is free from Cancer. He is now looking over us all with great care. I know this, but in the tears as a human, feeling pain and sorrow, I momentarily lost track of the rejoicing that should be taking place. So God sent the reminder through Maxwell to rejoice. So tonight, after reading books and saying prayers , we rejoiced. We thanked God for freeing Chris of his pain and of the gift of Eternal Life.
Although this doesn't take away the sorrow of our loss, it does ease the pain. I continue to pray for Leigh, Emily, Eric, Riddick, Herbie, David, Peggy, Monroe, E. Artis and Big Christian and the entire Weber and Farmer Family. May each and everyone find peace during this journey. And when we are having those difficult times, may God send us reminders through his Messengers that we should rejoice. Because one day, we will all meet again...and that is a promise from God.

Growing Up

Well today marked a milestone in my journey as a mother...I did something that every Mother thinks about from the moment that their child is born, I Enrolled Maxwell in Kindergarten. It was such a bittersweet moment. I have thought about it form such a long time. "Where will he go? Will it be the right choice? Is he ready? Am I ready?" Well after much debate, many tours, and a few assessments, the answers are clear. Maxwell will be attending Southwest Elementary School. It is a good fit for him at this time in his life. I prayed about it a lot, and found peace when I entered the building. He is ready. He can read ( basic words and sounds), he can write (except 2's and 5's he gets backwards), he can count ( at least to 100), and he LOVES to learn. Am I ready? That still remains to be answered. I am so thankful to live in a country where my child has the opportunity and PRIVILEGE to attend school. There are many countries where this is not available to children. He has a wonderfully supportive family and extended family that value education and want the best for him. I still find it difficult to let him Grow up. I want him to grow, to learn, to become a productive member of society and to be happy. But it is all going so fast. As a teacher, I never thought I would have this much difficulty sending my child off to school. A place that I enjoy going to everyday. But it is so different from this prospective. I know he will do well and be happy. He couldn't wait to go see it. As we walked down the halls he wanted to go into every room and see if that was his teacher. He even told Nanny all about his Big Boy 5 year old school over the phone tonight. As I listened to him with such excitement, and tears in my eyes, I knew that he was ready and as a mother, I know the right thing to do. Yes he will go to school this August, with a new book bag, lunchbox and a smile. And as his mommy, I will take him, hug and kiss him, and then walk out the door as I send him on this new journey in his life. But I will Smile the whole time. And as I turn away and walk to the car I will cry. Tears of joy, for getting this far ( with God's help) and pride in Maxwell's accomplishments. But also with tears of sorrow, knowing that time goes by so quickly and that my BABY is no longer a Baby, but a Big 5 year old Boy. None of these feelings change the fact that I will continue to be thankful for the opportunity to have him in my life and more time to watch him grow. He truly is a blessing and I will continue to trust in God to watch after him in this new journey and to guide me in making the right choices for him. I just hope and pray that I don't hold on to tight or let go to soon.

Questions

This past Saturday was a very busy day. Maxwell had a birthday party (bowling), then a haircut ( which ended up being moved to Sunday) and then off to the movies with BCT and family. We went to see The Lightning Thief. For those of you unfamiliar with this movie, it is based a book where the main character, Percy Jackson , he discovers he is a demigod, the son of a mortal woman and the Greek god Poseidon. Percy and his friends go on a quest to prevent an apocalyptic war between the Greek gods Zeus, Poseidon and Hades. Now that I have caught you up, you may be saying, BUT Maxwell is only 4! Are you crazy, " I didn't understand Greek mythology in High School and you want a 4 year understand it!" YES. I made up my mind, after reading the series, that this would be a good movie and if Maxwell didn't like it, we would leave and I would return and watch it later. He loved it. He loved it! (except the loud parts that hurt his ears) and had LOTS of questions. The only problem was that he had about a million questions. So I told him we would talk about it on the way home. True to form, we got in the car and first thing out of his mouth was "Mom I got some questions". So we began to discuss the movie, the characters, the actions, etc. Which then led to the following questions that I have had to answer over the last few days. Do you have the answers to these questions? If so, could you send them to me! I answered them on a wing and a PRAYER, that God would send the right answers to me.

1) If God is everywhere and made everything, Who made God?
2) Where are babies before they are in Mommy's belly?
3)If God made Adam and Eve first, are they my real Mommy and Daddy ?
4) I don't like the "underworld", will I go there if I am not nice to my friends? Followed by :"I wasn't nice to "E" at school. I wouldn't let him play with my car"
5) Will "S" ( a classmate) be there in the "underworld" because she isn't nice to ANYBODY!

Many more, but these were the toughest ones. My little man has questions A LOT! I try my best to answer them in a way that I feel is pleasing to God. But sometimes, all I can do is Pray that God answers them for me or gives me the right words. God hasn't EVER let me down, but I think I need to get my hearing checked because I had a hard time with these questions and I know God was sending me the words to say. I am not sure some days why I was given such a wonderful gift of a wonderful amazing son. But God has trusted me with this child and I know that HE wont let me fail Maxwell. He will give the courage, wisdom and guidance to raise him. The love is abundant, without a doubt and when words fail me, I know that I can lean on that love( the Love given to me by a wonderful God and the Love I get from a wonderful son) to get me through and answer those hard questions.

Brain Pain

So today's adventure begins with being at home for the 5th day this week due to winter weather (Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Friday)! That is an adventure within itself. I don't really know how stay at home moms do it. GOD BLESS YOU ALL, I would be insane! Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my son. I love the summer when we can go and do things together, I love him. But staying at home during the winter when the weather is yucky out is not my idea of fun. Day one wasn't so bad, we playing in the snow. Day two was much of the same. However, by Monday, I was tired of the snow. So here we are again home, and because it is raining, we can't even go out. So we clean the playroom, watch Dawn of the Dinosaurs for the 8,492nd time and dance to the song Walk the Dinosaur for the 9000th. What can I say, he likes to "move it, move it". And then I decided to make lunch while he watches a bit of Noggin. Bananas, yogurt, sweet potato (with brown sugar and butter, of course) and Beanie Weenies (using turkey dogs and Bushes). So this is a pretty good lunch and Maxwell eats ( or has eaten) all the foods in the past. We sit down, he eats everything but the Beanie Weenies...then the battle begins. I don't mind if he doesn't eat, my theory is they eat when they are hungry..but Maxwell goes into a long speech ( tears included) about how he can't eat the Beanie Weenies because it will make his brain hurt! He needs DORITOS! This is my final straw, I leave the table as I laugh and remind him to finish he Beanie Weenies. I win the battle, but he did get the Doritos afterwards. So I guess the lesson is be careful of the Beanie Weenies...they make your Brain Hurt...but the cure is Doritos...a fairly tasty medicine:)

Snow Days

After 8 inches of snow..the weekend plans turned into SNOW DAY FUN! We played and played and played in the wonderful snow. Maxwell loves it. He got to wear his new boots ( Thanks Matthew) and slide down the snow slide many times. This was his favorite activity. We stomped around the neighborhood and eventually settled in with pizza and a movie. The neighbors came over and made it even more fun. We made apple bread together for dessert. I have to say, although I do enjoy the summer, having a day of family fun with my little man is so amazingly wonderful. I thank God for the gift of time with him, however long it may be. Each day is a blessing that I cherish.

Melting my heart

So today Maxwell Got a green light at school. This isn't anything new, but we have a new "deal" that if he gets 5 green lights in a row, he can go get a new car. ( The matchbox/Disney Cars variety: $2.00 ) He was so proud of himself. He even did the Math and told me he has to get 3 more. I was proud that he did the math. On the way home we talked of the adventures of the day, the normal what he did, what are we going to eat for dinner, etc. We decided we would have breakfast for Dinner ( but he didn't have to go to school after her ate it, had to clarify that one). He then tells me He has a song we "wrote" for me, but I couldn't hear it until we got home. So we got home and I started Breakfast (Dinner) and he begins playing his V-Tech Alphabet Land game. After dinner, we begin playing the game together and I was giving him kisses. He looks at me and says " Mommy, when you kiss me it makes by heart go fast", so I kissed him again and he says " My heat is going SUPER FAST now". He then decides that it is time to sing his song. So here is the song
I love you , I love you Mommy, I love you everyday. I love all the time. I love you even when your alive and dead.
Not much to the music business, but to this Mom, it was truly the best song I ever heard. So we have had a lot of heart talk tonight. Both are beating, his really fast from all the kisses and mine is melting from all the love.

Blessings to you and yours,

Lisa

Forgotten?

So many people have told me to write down those silly things Maxwell says because I will forget. I never thought I would forget the things he says or does, however over time they are right and I am wrong. I have forgotten things. It saddens me, but it is true. So therefore, in an attempt to not forget I have decided to blog about it. Maybe it will work, maybe not. But I do find it easier to type then write, so there is more motivation and less work and maybe that will help.